X-Mas Special 2012!!!

If there's one thing I'm looking forward to this Xmas, it's the Doctor Who Xmas special! Here is a far too short prequel 'Vastra Investigates' to the actual special 'The Snowmen'.

And because I'm that obsessed...the trailer for 'The Snowmen' as well.

*All I want for Xmas is a Doctor Who Special!*....Just kidding, I want my presents too.

Sploosh!

Two very attractive men (one with an accent) in suits singing and dancing. Basically a wet dream. I'll leave you on that note.

X-Mas Mix

I'm not sure why, but this year, I'm hating Xmas music. I've never been especially keen on the holiday, but I've never been all that bothered by the music. Yes, it's the same every year, but whatever. But this year, my ears are in revolt. So here's some Xmas music I've decided I don't hate because it's not the average radio fare. Some of the songs are anti-Xmas, and some are awesome covers. Oh, and I'm not adding links because that takes way too long and I'm lazy. Look them up yourself.

1. Christmas Celebration - Weezer
2. I Will Be Hating You For Christmas - Everclear
3. Fairytale of New York - Florence Welch and Billy Bragg
4. Last Christmas - Jimmy Eat World (cover of the Wham! song)
5. Please Come Home For Christmas - Fiona Apple (Think she only did this at a concert, but love her voice)
6. I Won't Be Home For Christmas - Blink 182 (sorry Fiona)
7. Yule Shoot Your Eye Out - Fall Out Boy
8. Christmas Sucks Song - Arrogant Worms
9. Elf's Lament - Barenaked Ladies with Michael Buble (Green Christmas, the Grinch song, is also entertaining)
10. Don't Shoot Me Santa - The Killers (hahaha, seriously, watch the video)(I Feel It In My Bones is also good)
11. The Anti-Christmas Carol - Joss Stone
12. Santa Baby - Everclear
13. The Christmas Waltz - She&Him (from 'A Very She&Him Christmas' the hipster xmas album of choice)
14. Xmas Cake - Rilo Kiley (very depressing, but beautiful, as all Rilo Kiley songs are)
15. Meri Kuri - Weezer

And here's a bonus vid of Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt singing a New Years Eve song.

#Monkeysphere Moments (sorry this is a long one)

While reading This Book Is Full of Spiders today, I ran into a passage that turned out to actually be true, despite the horrifying implications. A character (Dr. Marconi) was talking about Dunbar's Number, a study on the neocortex of primates that

 "suggests that there is a species-specific index of the social group size, computable from the species' mean neocortical volume." -Wikipedia

-which really just means that the larger the neocortex, the larger the amount of people you can reliably care about and remember. The average amount for humans is around 150 people. Anything larger than this and our brains start to hurt. "That is our maximum capacity for sympathy...Those who lie outside the circle are not human." This is what makes us heartbroken when our pets die, but give very little of a shit when 1,833 people die in a hurricane. I mean, we say we do, we buy the damn bracelets to show our support. But admit it, you still care way more about your dead dog.

David Wong actually explains all of this much much better and funnier than I could ever hope to in his article What Is The Monkeysphere. Read it. Go ahead, I'll wait. You didn't read it, did you? Fucker.

Anyway, all of that was to explain how reading about Dunbar's Number reminded me of this conversation I had at work. This lady, every week brings in a copy of The Watchtower, a Jehovah's Witness tract/magazine thing. As far as I can tell, it's about how we're all living in the "end times" or some bullshit (how long do these end times last? It was first published in 1879!). I mostly just throw them in the trash when I find them laying about, but this was the first time I had actually encountered the lady.

So she hands me the thing with a smile and I have an "Aha! This is the person who plagues my counter with worthless bullshit" moment. I give her a smile that may or may not have looked sincere and said "Okay". She then proceeded to tell me that this month's issue was about the eradication of sin. To which I probably replied, "Oh." Cue a totally insincere smile and eyebrow raise. She somehow translated my expression to mean "Please tell me more of your insanity!" because she continued with something about how God will soon once again rid our planet of the wicked and the unworthy.

 "He's already begun" she expanded, "the increase of cataclysmic events like the hurricanes and earthquakes are just a part of his cleansing power. He's done it before, in the Bible, and he's doing it again now." (I am making up some of this b/c I don't remember the word-for-word, but trust me, she did say "cleansing" which just still makes me want to vomit.) At this point I stop smiling, and I stop nodding, and I'm pretty sure the look on my face was quickly becoming a mixture of disbelief, anger and disgust. "Okay," I say, hostility possibly seeping through my pores "so, like the Flood? Jericho? Every man, woman, and child must go?"  "Well, maybe not exactly, but essentially, yes. When there is nothing good left in the place, the wickedness will be eradicated and the world made new for the faithful. Like when God smote Sodom and Gomorrah because there were not even 10 righteous men left." "And this place had no children? No babies that maybe could have been spared the holy sulfur smiting?" "Um..." "...So, essentially, you are okay with mass murder? Because God approves of it. FTW I'm on a boat, muthafucka!" I did not say, because at this point I just wanted her out of the store. So I totally sidestepped everything and said something like, "Didn't Lot get drugged and raped by his daughters or something?" "...Uh, maybe..." "Oh, hahahaha. That was a pretty disturbing end to the story, huh? Kinda ruined the holy genocide for me." She starts backing away, and is luckily saved from my crazy eyes by another customer entering the store.

crazy eyes

So, ya know, maybe I don't care as much about Darfur as I should. Because my brain literally won't allow me to. But at least I'm not a crazy ass bitch rooting for 90% of the earth's population to be "righteously" smote(smitten? smited?). Although I'm probably giving into my neocortex right now just by calling her a crazy ass bitch. Whatever.

Weeds: The End of a Love Affair

I am indescribably sad that this season (8) is the final installment of the series. I know all things must end, and  eight seasons is a great run for a Showtime series, but it still hurts. It hurts my heart. It sounds silly to be so broken up about the end of a television show, but damn was I emotionally invested in these characters. These broken, flawed characters that a group of writers fucked over every chance they got for the sake of drama. The last episode kinda broke my heart, but I still love them. And I will miss their adventures.

Goodbye Weeds, it's been awesome.

Forever yours,
Hannah

...now to fill my empty spaces with Breaking Bad...

Keep Calm and Carry On

I'm sure you and everyone you know is aware of the "Keep Calm &" shirts and etc...that have been popping up everywhere for any situation the past couple years. Do you know where this saying originated? I did not. I assumed it had something to do with England because of the crown thing, but I was curious today, so I looked it up. I also found this:

It's actually quite interesting. Also, may I just say that I would freaking LOVE to work at that bookshop? Anyway, I'm really glad they found that poster, because I love the random things people come up with associated to this saying. Here are a few of my favorites:

Doctor Who for the WIN!

A Little Poetry...

You have played,
(I think)
And broke the toys
   you were fondest of,
And are a little tired now;
Tired of things that break,
   and --
Just tired.
So am I.

- e.e. cummings

Chivalry?

To me, Chivalry is not about opening doors or pulling out chairs. Honestly, I can open my own goddamn door. I am incredibly confused by the chair thing. It's awkward and saves nobody anything. To me, chivalry is about being brave, decent and kind. In the modern times, this would translate into not STARING at my boobs, NOT fucking me when I'm too drunk to know your name, and maybe just taking my drunk ass home.

Modern woman is unimpressed with your Chivalry. You claim we killed it, but I claim you underachieved it. Look up Chivalry on Wikipedia. Chivalry had to do with Courage, Honor, and Service and to protect the weak and defenseless. Women's Liberation didn't undermine shit. Should I be honored that you decided to open a door for me? Seeing as I'm perfectly capable of opening my own doors (I even open doors for men sometimes *gasp*) I would say no. Respect for a woman in today's terms means a bit more than doors. If you are unable to keep up with the times, that is one thing, but blaming the death of chivalry on us is just another.

If you feel slighted or betrayed or whatever, you obviously have no concept of what the term "chivalry" actually refers to. Yes, it refers to a list of codes that honor your fellow man as well as womankind, but it also has something to do with heroic actions and the continuation of beauty. Honestly if you are going to try employing heroic deeds of valor to win over your woman's heart...try a little harder. Or stop fucking whining in any case, because whining has got to be the least chivalric/attractive thing to happen, like, ever.

Everybody Hurts

I barely even know what Twitter is, but these are cracking me up right now. Especially Will Ferrell.

BFFF Mix

Just some songs about friendship since my bestie is coming down to the hometown for a visit :) Yeah, I sicken myself too. Just ignore some of the romantic connotations in these songs, it's surprisingly hard to find songs about straight lady friendship. Okay, semi-straight lady friendship.

1. Friend is a Four Letter Word - Cake (love me some four letter words)
2. If There Was No You - Brandi Carlile (my secrets aren't safe, I'm singing out of tune if there was no you)
3. With A Little Help From My Friends - The Beatles (obviously)
4. We're Going To Be Friends - The White Stripes (cute)
5. My Best Friend - Weezer (aww)
6. BFFF - Bowling For Soup (ah haha ha just found this)(just tryin' to say I love you in a heterosexual way)
7. If She Wants Me - Belle & Sebastian (on second thoughts I'd rather hang around with my best friend if she wants me)
8. Old Friends, Bookends - Simon & Garfunkel (time it was and what a time it was, it was a time of innocence, a time of confidences)
9. You're My Best Friend - Queen (their hair is so great in this vid)
10. I'm Sticking With You - The Velvet Underground (cuz I'm made out of glue)
11. I Miss You - Kimya Dawson (short but sweet)

Hating On Facebook

Taking a cue from my Ohio friend Steven Menke, I've decided to re-visit my youthful ranting days. As though I don't do this all day everyday to anyone that will stand still long enough to listen. I've decided to target Facebook because, well, it's relevant and I was on Facebook all night while at work and that's what triggered my ire. There are some actual examples that I will bitch about instead of the abstract concepts I normally throw at people.

1. SHARE THIS!: "SHARE if you remember pledging allegiance to the flag in class and still think it's important today."

Okay, pushing aside my actual stance on the Pledge of Allegiance (I'll need to make a whole other post for that issue), I'm just going to direct my ire towards the SHARE part. Even assuming I did care about the Pledge for nostalgia's sake, why do I have to share this? Is the government keeping secret tabs on all the Facebook users who give a shit? Are you winning a bet? Do I get a prize?

The answer is no. Nothing at all happens if someone shares this thing except that the cycle of annoying shit is perpetuated.

2. LIKE THIS!: "LIKE if you wish cancer didn't exist."

Don't think I'm a heartless bitch here(if you don't already). I'm not saying I'm PRO cancer. I'm saying...well, it's a disease whose causes are many and often unpredictable. It kills many many people. It's a disease. Disease has been around on this planet probably as long as this planet has existed. It's kind of like the way things are...ya know? So, does it suck? Hellz yes. But if cancer didn't exist, there would just be something else to take it's place. Thus is the nature of, well, nature. And thus, life. So what you are basically saying is "Don't you wish all the bad things in life didn't exist?" In which case I would ask you, "Are you 5 years old?"

The part that really bothers me, however, is what's implied if you don't LIKE their post. Apparently I am a lover of cancer. I wish it on everyone. Just wanna cancer up this bitch. Which, actually, I can't totally deny.

*lights a cigarette*

Paloma Negra - Chavela Vargas

In keeping with the theme of angry womens this week (I guess) I decided to share one of my personal favorites, Paloma Negra. This song was featured in Frida, one of my all time favorite movies based on one of my all time favorite artists and just generally badass lady. The voice of this song, Chavela Vargas, is an equally awesome woman closely associated with Frida Kahlo who (R.I.P.) passed away this past August. Sad day, but lady was 93...so ya know, it's not like it was unexpected. In any case, she leaves a great legacy with that heartbreaking, powerful voice.

 I had to look up what it actually meant because I don't speak Spanish. You probably don't either, so here's an iffy translation I found somewhere:

I'm tired of crying for nothing
I don't know if I should curse you or pray for you
I'm afraid to look for you and to find you
Where my friends assure me that you go

There are moments when I would prefer to split
and finally pull out the nails of my torment
but my eyes die without the sight of your eyes
and my glowing love continues to await you

You have taken for yourself the party (good times)

Black dove, Black dove, where, where do you go?
Don't play with my honor
if your caresses must be mine, and no one else's

and although I love you like crazy don't return
Black dove you are the bars of a punishment (jail?)
I want to be free to live my life with whom I want

God give me strength, I'm dying from searching for her

and you have taken for yourself the parties (good times)

Source(s):

http://www.filmtracks.com/comments/title…

Dicks Be Gone!

Normally I'm not as much of a feminist/feminazi, but I have a friend who has been blowing up my phone ranting about her stupid husband and I'm feeling like some inspirational chick music might make things better. Hold onto your balls boys, this is my Chicks Not Dicks Mix.

1. Stronger - Kelly Clarkson (b/c it's mandatory to add KC to any femme based music compilation)
2. Single Ladies - Beyonce (my guuuurl Beyonce be fierce)
3. Part of Me - Katy Perry (love me some Katy)
4. Blow Me - Pink (she's pretty much always angry about something)
5. You Outta Know - Alanis Morissette (the goddess of 90's chick rage)
6. Smile - Lilly Allen (the music video is priceless, I don't care what you think)
7. Bad Reputation - Joan Jett  (she inspires badassery)
8. Call Me When You're Sober - Evanescence (I had to)
9. Because I'm Awesome - The Dollyrots (I don't need you cuz I'm neat-o and I beat you cuz I'm awesome!)
10. Just A Girl - No Doubt (Gwen Stefani is hot...js)
11. Ignorance - Paramore (it felt right to add)
12. I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor (or the Cake version if you prefer, I almost always do)
13. Think - Aretha Franklin (also mandatory to add Aretha to any femme based music mix)

I feel like I probably left some gems out, but I am le tired, so fuck it.

Do...People Like Me?

I was reading this article, 5 Insignificant Things That Determine if Someone Likes You, and I learned some interesting things. Mostly, that I should have way more friends than I do. 4 out of 5 traits isn't bad! Probably. Who wears Tommy Hilfiger anymore anyway? What is this, 2003?

Poetic?

Hahahaha, I wrote a poem about Shakira. I am so silly.

Movies To See - 2

After a bit of a Hollywood dryspell, these movies are offering me something to look forward to.

1. Looper

2. Vamps

3. Anchorman 2

4. Sinister

5. This Is 40

Costume Hunt

Every year I tell myself I will figure out my Halloween costume before October, and every year I fail on an epic level. Today I began my hunt, as I have no original thoughts on the matter. Honestly, my heart is just not in it this year, but whatever. I love Halloween, I'm sure I'll be more festive the nearer it draws. So far, I've come up with some maybe ideas.

Maybe:
1. Corpse Bride
2. Sally (NBC)
3. Babydoll (Sucker Punch)
4. The Bride (Kill Bill) Yellow suit
5. Mad Alice (Madness Returns)
6. Lady Droog (A Clockwork Orange)
7. Sally Jupiter (Watchmen)
8. Silk Spectre (Watchmen)

Also, here are some children's costumes that I am obviously not going to wear but were just too cute not to share! Call it a bonus.

Signs You Might Be A Douchebag

1. You wear an Affliction t-shirt (or the Ed Hardy, TapOut).
2. You still call people "Bro/Brah"
3. You wear a baseball cap backwards un-ironically.
4. You post pics of yourself (that you have taken yourself) shirtless.
5. Your pants hang low enough to see your underwear, even with a belt.
6. You actually use pick-up lines to pick up chicks.
7. You like Hinder, Nickelback, Buck Cherry, or Creed.
8. You watch Jersey Shore. Or pretty much any reality show. FYI: watching it to make fun of it, doesn't make you any better.
9. You find "The One" more than once a year.
10. You post incredibly personal bullshit on Facebook for all the world to join you in a pity party drama-fest.
11. You drink Diet anything.
12. You use a tanning bed.
13. You are jobless because "Why bother? I can just collect unemployment and get foodstamps."
14. You aspire to have a grill (the teeth mutilation kind, not the cooking kind).
15. You are regularly involved in bar fights. Mostly because you are belligerently drunk at the bar every night.
16. You wonder why people think you are a d-bag.

Having one or two of these qualities doesn't necessarily mean you are a bag of douches. More than 3...sorry, bro, the numbers don't lie.

Sometimes Life Makes Me...

How To Be Alone by Tanya Davis

This is kind of beautiful.

Film of Quality

I watch a lot of movies. Like piles. In my lame, boring existence, pretty much all I do is rape my Netflix queue. Anyway, that being said, I have found a lack of great movies being made anymore. This saddens me. I spend all day watching sub-par movies that just don't capture any feelings or truth or mystery. What happened to those movies? Have they all been done? Or has artistry become a thing that the movie industry is no longer interested in producing?

The movies I'm talking about, and you may or may not agree with my choices, are movies like Planet of the Apes (1968). The thing about Planet of the Apes, the original mind you, is that it is fantastic. It takes you on this ride to another planet and makes you use your imagination. Suppose Apes were the rulers and the humans were...not. Which is a sweet concept in and of itself without going into the underlying messages bullshit, but then it turns into a total mindfuck at the end. If you didn't already know the end, when you got there, that was the most awesome feeling. The feeling that you got an actual trick ending. It was somehow satisfying. I miss that. I miss being satisfyingly tricked.

I wonder how much of that has to do with being older and expecting the tricks and how much it has to do with quality film. Fight Club is another example of that trick ending that was more than just expected. I would even have to admit to The Sixth Sense having that, although every M. Night movie thereafter kinda just fell flat by exploiting that initial concept.

Another genre I'd like to explore is the romantic-comedy. As a connoisseur of the genre,  I tend to be overly picky sometimes. Really though, I feel like a lot of these movies should just not be made. When Harry Met Sally and The Princess Bride are my standards. Roll your eyes all you want, but Rob Reiner really defined the genre for me. He used the formula, but still made it feel like love. The only rom-com I've seen this year to meet these standards is Friends With Kids, which features Jennifer Westfeldt(who is just always amazing).

What I miss about this genre is actual character development. I'm sick of watching a stereotype of a romance. I know it's hard to make an actual human being like-able, but I do wish someone would at least try. Because at the heart of it, there's nothing about two people with no real depth or obstacles in their life getting together that is at all worth watching (ex. Bounty Hunter). Shit, I get that everyday on my Facebook feed.

24

I was born on this day 24 years ago! God, that's depressing. I'm almost 25. Not that I'm feeling female vanity or anything, it just doesn't feel like I should be an adult yet. And yet, here I am, 24. Teenagers don't know half the music I grew up listening to. I often get this thing called acid reflux. And hangovers. I remember life before texting, and cellphones, and the internet.

I'm old:(

But at least I'm past the Blink 182 curse (Nobody likes you when you're 23).

Forbidden Fruit

I think I like a boy! But I probably shouldn't.

Art Journaling

Found this cool blog, Art Journaling As A Creative Process. Enjoy!

Miss You Bro.

Maybe making decisions based on a dream analysis is not the best way to go about things, but I'm seriously considering. Because I really do believe that dreams are things that highlight what you're feeling but possibly avoiding in your conscious life. And sometimes, when the dream is as vivid and disturbing as the one I had yesterday, it means I should pay attention. So maybe I will.

Teal fo' Real

Song of the Day: So Nice, So Smart - Kimya Dawson

The past couple weeks have been mildly eventful, but mostly I've just been too lazy to post. Let's see, my Grandmother is okay and recovering well, despite having had a stroke after her surgery. My brother's daughter (my niece!!! duh.) is adorable, but I still have not gotten nearly as many pics as I NEED. My friend Cole is socializing again. My Cathy is opening her daycare soon. My Eric is on Spring Vacation without me:( Also, I dyed my hair teal.

I have not been insulted by nearly as many people as I thought I would. Clearly, this town is much less judgy that I give it credit for being. Of course, it is March. Most of them think I did it for St. Patty's Day. That thought honestly did not even occur to me 'til someone asked me about it.

I find it funny when they say "What did you do to your hair???" because:
A. What do you expect me to say to this?
B. Is it not apparent that I dyed it...?
C. I'm just going to make up a ridiculous story b/c your question is ridiculous. See A and B.

And that's probably enough of me going on about my hair.

Karmic Indigestion

Song of the Day: If There Was No You - Brandi Carlile

The weekend went well enough. I'm glad I went. The Miss Gay Iowa pageant was pretty damn awesome. I saw my first drag queens and they were beautiful. I went to my first gay bar, and it was fun. I went to my first casino...and it was okay, I guess, if you like gambling. Which I don't. But yeah, now I can say I've been to one, at least.

The friend who's boyfriend hates me thing didn't really come to a head or boiling point or what have you, although there was some drama not of my devising that occurred. The boyfriend threw a few spite jabs my way, but I guess maybe it's karma. I think I just need to get over it. He's not actually an important part of my life, so I need to stop feeling so harmed by a person who just doesn't like me. That's his choice, his feeling, and I'm okay with that. I think. It's not my problem.

Things that are my problems include being too lazy to do my taxes, having a new niece, smoking too much, and not sleeping enough. Not that the niece is a problem, but she is a concern. A cute little concern that lives far far away in a place called Tennessee. And then there's my Grammy Peggy who is having open heart surgery today. I feel like a bad granddaughter for not calling her, but I had to work and...Idk, there's something inside me that is small and afraid and I don't want to address that.

Alcoholic Witch

Choice Song: I Want The World To Stop - Belle & Sebastian

So today my friend told me his boyfriend doesn't like me b/c he thinks I drink too much and I practice witchcraft. Apparently they have been fighting about me all day. This makes me sad. After he told me, all I could think was "Not this again..." I don't want to be the reason anybody has an argument and I don't want to be disliked for ridiculous things. There are plenty of more significant things to hate me for than these.

1. I only see his boyfriend at the bars...where ppl go to get drunk. I don't think one night every couple weeks is a good indicator of my lifestyle.

2. I use a tarot deck. Badly. And I think the Ouija board is a bit fun. I don't worship Satan. I don't even believe in Satan. I don't think this qualifies me as a practitioner of the Dark Arts.

I don't even think these are the real reasons he dislikes me. Quite frankly, I wouldn't even care (b/c I don't like him that much either) except for the fact that I love my friend. And I have to spend a whole day with them on Friday in Des Moines. I would prefer to not see his poo face the whole day. I'm considering not even going.

And this is just one more thing on the pile of crap that has been my month. Yay.

Depositon

So the deposition for the KG robbery was today, and I'm pretty sure I just babbled the whole way through. I do that when I'm nervous. I was actually very nervous, and it was cold in the room, which seems to aggravate my nerves. Also the defendent's attorney was a dick, a demeaning dick. I believe at one point he asked me how long I've worked at KG, and then after I told him about 3 years, he asked if I was a manager. When I replied no, he kind of mumbled something like "3 years, not a manager..." Seriously, I know, but being a manager is like a $1 difference and a lot more work for that dollar. So when I was offered the job, I declined. Also, Sheila had just been shot and I wasn't sure how much longer I was going to stick around.

So Defence Attorney pissed me off. Maybe that's just the way he talks, maybe it's more effective to be a dick in his job, I don't know, but I was pretty offended and I still am. And I'm jittery with residual nerves. He kinda made me want to cry. Hopefully this doesn't go to full on court because I can only imagine the anxiety getting up on the stand will be. Mock Trial really didn't prepare me for this, I had a script and a lawyer with specific questions and answers. Real life is all about my head going blank because I"m so nervous and cold.

And yeah, I can finish out my shift after being robbed, because it did thoroughly shock me, but I'm good at pushing through things. But public speaking has always been a bad thing for me. I am such a nutcase.

Movies I Want To See

1. Super

2. One For The Money

3. Kaboom

4. Daydream Nation

5. Young Adult

6. Friends With Kids

They all look pretty bad-ass. I do love me some movies:) Hopefully I hit up One For the Money this week at the Humota.

Morning Glory

Choice Song: Bad Day - Fuel

Last night at work was pretty boring, but towards about 5am everything started turning shitty. It started with someone spilling cappucino all over the counter, which happens fairly often, but is still a pain in the ass. Then Jodi calls to say her daughter is going into labor, which means Jodi won't be coming in all week. Which means we have to completely re-vamp the schedule. So I said I'd stay til about 8 or 9am when hopefully someone could relieve me, which wasn't totally bad because Jeanette showed up at 7am to finish the books and Christa came in at 8am. But then i remembered it was a "truck" day, so I had to put everything away.

Then whilst in the back room I somehow managed to thwack my elbow into the light switch box thing. Very very hard. Hitting my funny bone was not that funny. I'm pretty sure I was breathless with pain for a second or two. It still hurts. And then, well, nothing else happened, but I'm pretty sure the rest of the week is going to be just as terrible. Just because. I feel it in my gut.

My Dream Schizophrenic

So, here's a secret that's not really a secret: I'm incredibly picky. In pretty much every aspect of my life. But especially with men. I'll be friends with nearly any of them, but I find myself incapable of being interested in them romantically. I mean, well, sure I'd like to jump the bones of a few...but that's a different story. I'm talking about dating. I know this is really frustrating for boys, but I just won't do anything with you if I see no future in the endeavor. It's just way too much energy expended for such disappointing results. Honestly, I see no future with any man. I think the man I want does not exist.

If he did, he would be a conglomeration of these characters:
1. Nathan Fillion as Malcolm Reynolds (Firefly/Serenity)
2. Joseph Gordon Levitt as Tom Hansen (500 Days of Summer)
3. Heath Ledger as Patrick Verona (10 Things I Hate About You)
4. Justin Kirk as Andy Botwin (Weeds)
5. Jake M. Johnson as Jake (New Girl)
6. Tahmoh Penikett as Paul Ballard (Dollhouse)
7. Jensen Ackles as Dean Winchester (Supernatural)
8. Johnny Galecki as Leonard Hofstadter (Big Bang Theory)
9. Jay Baruchel as Dave Stutler (The Sorcerer's Apprentice)

So, in sumation, the attributes I'm looking for in a man are(in no particular order):
1. Nerdy/Smart
2. Funny/Quirky
3. Chaotic Good
4. Honorable
5. Endearing
6. Handy
7. Possibly Jewish

Also, I apparently have a type looks-wise. Dark brows, strong nose, prominent jaw line, dark hair. So, okay, yeah...I knew that.

What I Really Want

*Why do they always teach us that it's easy and evil to do what we want and that we need discipline to restrain ourselves? It's the hardest thing in the world--to do what we want. And it takes the greatest kind of courage. I mean, what we really want.* -Ayn Rand

I think these are things that I'd really like to happen in my life. Some are small goals, some are far-reaching, and some may sound silly, but nonetheless they are my dreams:

1. True Love. Not just making do, but really falling head over, with a person that is perfect for me. If that even exists. Until that happens, I'm fine with singledom.

2. To be a singer, and to get paid for it. Ideally, Rockstardom, but I think I would be happy just singing in a coffee shop. Honestly.

3. To live somewhere I can paint the walls whatever color I please.

4. To own a bird or two. I don't know where this desire came from, but suddenly it did.

5. An adopted girl-child. Not, like, right now. But someday, I would like to adopt.

6. More tattoos. I want so many more tattoos, enough to make my skin feel more like I belong inside it. So really, I just want to feel more comfortable in my own skin.

7. To learn more about the things I enjoy, like art, music, psychology, and the universe.

10. To own my own business. Maybe a cafe, or music venue, or bookstore. Hell, I think I'd be happy just to work at a bookstore(well, a cool one).

11. To finish writing a story and perhaps publish it. For some reason I would really, really like to write and illustrate a children's book. I'm a bit obsessed with the idea of contributing to a magic that has enthralled me my whole life. And children's literacy is a cause about which I feel strongly.


"Tread softly because you tread on my dreams." - Willam Butler Yeats

Referrals

Song of the Day: In The Sun - She & Him

Happy Friday the 13th! I just ran across this blog, Dan Blogs, the other day and thought I would share it with all of the people who don't read my blog. His posts don't appear to be that frequent anymore, but I'm more than happy running through his archives. The man cracks me up.

And because I feel like it, here is a post secret that made me giggle. And agree. Vaginas are scary.

Resolutions 2012

Song of the Day: Wrapped Up In Books - Belle and Sebastian

I have long stood by the belief in not making New Years Resolutions...b/c I know I'll never stick to them, so why bother? Right? But this year I am very tentatively making a few b/c, idk, I feel like it.

1. To post more often on my blogs.
2. To pay my bills closer to on time.
3. To exercise more (cliche, I know. bite me).
4. To start singing in public again. On a stage.
5. To not buy so many movies and bottles of nail-polish. Really, it's getting a bit excessive.

Okay, I'll stop at 5. Maybe I'll actually accomplish one of them. I thought about putting "smoke less" on there...but who are we kidding? Haha, thought I was getting too optimistic for a minute there, didn't we?

Environmentally Friendly

Song of the Day: Parentheses - The Blow

It occurs to me that happy people irritate me. Like these people are just too unimaginative to come up with some other emotion. Like happiness is a character flaw.

In the throes of boredom I decided to hit the Next Blog button and see what it threw me. In the old days it would send me to a bunch of poetry blogs, a couple random Spanish ones, and religious one or two, a heap of political jargon blogs, single post entities and those long dead. Today it fairly exclusively brought me scary religious blogs, family blogs, and biking blogs. Wtf? One was of a Mormon family of, like 12 or something. All of them smiling smugly at me, as if they knew something I didn't. Mostly I wanted to throw things at my computer screen, at their smug, delusional faces. As if contributing to overpopulation were a thing to be happy about.

I suppose I am not Mormon, and I have no offspring, so I wouldn't really know. But I am single, angry,  repressed, and unhappy. These things aren't necessarily unpleasant for me. And I get to feel environmentally friendly(overpopulation is the greatest threat to the environment). Speaking of environmentally friendly...the Prius gives me an environment boner. I want one soooo bad.

The Frakking Internet

Song of the Day: What Beats Within - Jenny Owen Youngs

The reason for my unseasonable postingness and blog making frenzy is that I finally got the frakking internet working in mi casa. I think I will never go outside again. This could be a bad thing. I haven't had the internet in about 4 years. I've been relying upon the library, friends, and stealing from my neighbors. Now I pay money for the convenience like everyone else. I am so excited. I also still have my pj's on at 5pm. It was awesome out today, and I experienced none of it. My house is too hot and I need cigarettes. I should prolly throw on some clothes and makeup and go get some smokes, but I don't feel like it. There's just too much lost time to make up for, so many webcomics to catch up on, and TV shows to find on Hulu.

Universe, I'm a loser.

Genesis

Okay, so I broke down and made a new blog. I just couldn't help myself, the new templates were too tempting, and my old blog is too huge to convert. Also, I feel like it ties me too much to highschool and college, both important eras, if incredibly disturbing. So I'm starting fresh. Apparently I'm too retarded to think of an interesting title right now, so I just stole my old one (more or less). This will probably change.

I'm also trying the new blogger interface. Currently, I'm not liking it so much. I don't do change well, but we'll see. I'm also finally going to break down and try AdSense. Maybe.