1. The Goonies
For a long time, I thought I must've seen a different Goonies from everyone else. I mean, it was an okay movie, but I was never crazy for it. Everyone else acts like it was life defining. I always sort of nodded along and smiled like I knew what they were talking about. Now I'm just like, "Fuck the Goonies." Fuck your fucking childhood. I'm done. Deal with it.
2. Oregon Trail
I have never played this game. Apparently my childhood sucked. All I know about this game is that Dysentery was involved, which sounds incredibly entertaining. But the game probably wasn't. Stop telling me about it, I'm never going to play it, so what's the fucking point?
3. Dougie/Twerk/Whatevernewdance
I don't know what you're doing and I don't care.
4. Sports
Not that I've ever really pretended to like them, but it's a hard thing for people to accept. I don't like sports. Don't talk to me about sports, I'm not listening. I don't want to go to your Super Bowl party because I don't like football. Downton Abbey party? Fuck yeah! Anything to do with sports? Nooooope.
5. Scentsy/Aloette/Pampered Chef/Pure Romance
I don't want to go to your Bored Housewife/Mother Party. Your pricey purses and jewelry break and tarnish. I'd rather go to an Arts Fair and give my money to artists/bored housewives/mothers who make things than support your cheap stupid crap no one needs business.
For a long time, I thought I must've seen a different Goonies from everyone else. I mean, it was an okay movie, but I was never crazy for it. Everyone else acts like it was life defining. I always sort of nodded along and smiled like I knew what they were talking about. Now I'm just like, "Fuck the Goonies." Fuck your fucking childhood. I'm done. Deal with it.
2. Oregon Trail
I have never played this game. Apparently my childhood sucked. All I know about this game is that Dysentery was involved, which sounds incredibly entertaining. But the game probably wasn't. Stop telling me about it, I'm never going to play it, so what's the fucking point?
3. Dougie/Twerk/Whatevernewdance
I don't know what you're doing and I don't care.
4. Sports
Not that I've ever really pretended to like them, but it's a hard thing for people to accept. I don't like sports. Don't talk to me about sports, I'm not listening. I don't want to go to your Super Bowl party because I don't like football. Downton Abbey party? Fuck yeah! Anything to do with sports? Nooooope.
5. Scentsy/Aloette/Pampered Chef/Pure Romance
I don't want to go to your Bored Housewife/Mother Party. Your pricey purses and jewelry break and tarnish. I'd rather go to an Arts Fair and give my money to artists/bored housewives/mothers who make things than support your cheap stupid crap no one needs business.
