Deep Dicking Chasing Amy

I was going to write this post forever ago, but got incredibly lazy. But anyway, a while ago I was watching some Kevin Smith "Evening" stuff on YouTube and came across this portion of a night:

And this is what led me to re-watch Chasing Amy (and kindle my fanaticism with the song Joey Lauren Adams sings). It had been a few years since I saw the movie last and I'm not incredibly sure how long it had been since I'd seen it sober, so I'd forgotten some things. I'll give Lela the benefit of the doubt by assuming the last and only time she'd seen it was 4 years prior to this video. Because if she had re-watched it as I did, she would realize she doesn't even have a question there.

Because, to me it least, Chasing Amy isn't even a lesbian movie. I mean, it starts out with Alyssa identifying as a lesbian, but in the end (Spoilers! on a 15 year old movie...) we find that Alyssa is just curious and open to whatever. She was really just misrepresenting herself. As she explains later, it was a process. Which is mostly where I'm at, but I digress.

"I came to this on my own terms...the way the world is, how seldom it is that you meet that one person who just gets you -- it's so rare...to cut one's self off from finding that person, to immediately halve your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender, that just seems stupid to me. So I didn't. But then you came along. You, the one least likely. I mean, you were a guy...And while I was falling for you, I put a ceiling on that because you were a guy. Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the first place. To not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who'd complement me so completely. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms 'cause I got here on my own terms and I have no question in someplace I didn't look. For me that makes all the difference." -Alyssa

"All a lesbian needs is a good deep dicking" is not what Kevin Smith was saying at all. If anything, he was telling a story about one lesbian falling in love with a man. One isolated event, that is entirely possible, assuming that person was open to that possibility. Which I believe Alyssa was, obviously. Almost anecdotal, I would say. This movie is about sexual fluidity. Love in a gender-free form. Or at least that's what I took away from it. But what do I know? Maybe the message was offensive. Some people will take offense to anything, even possibly the most interesting love story I've seen yet.

Between the dick and fart jokes, there is wisdom to be had. Love me some Kevin Smith.

Sexin' Mix

In honor of Valentine's Day, here are some songs I find sexxxy. Don't be judging my penchant for high pitches and raw guitars.

1. Madness - Muse (smexxy. I explained this more in my other post)
2. Hey - Pixies (he says "whores" a lot, maybe it's subliminally sexy?)
3. Never Met A Girl Like You Before - Iggy & The Stooges (pretty sure this is in many movie montages demonstrating sexiness. And drugs, but whatever)
4. Kiss - Prince (say what you like about the Artist Known As, but he can make a girl feel things)
5. One More Night - Maroon 5 (Adam Levine, mmm)
6. I'm Your Man - Leonard Cohen (this man is clearly up for anything, hubba hubba)
7. Crimson & Clover - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts (I'd tap that)
8. Kiss with a Fist - Florence + The Machine (I'm really not sure why. S&M?)
9. El Scorcho - Weezer (boner fully detailed in another post)
10. Add It Up - Violent Femmes (I look at your pants and I need a kiss)
11. I Never - Rilo Kiley (sincerity is sexy)
12. I'll Try Anything Once - Julian Casablancas (anything he sings really. just orgasm central)
13. Howlin' For You - The Black Keys (mmmm)
14. Slow Like Honey - Fiona Apple (it's my big secret, keeping you coming slow like honey, heavy w mood)


Of course sexy means different things to different people (and possibly genders) so you may not agree with my picks. I urge you to tell me your sexxxy songs! Also, you know, have a really sexy time listening to these songs.

The Devil and the Details

Jehovah's Witness Lady: Here's a Watchtower. Have you ever wondered where the Devil came from?
Me: Nope. Byeeee.

I'm keeping things short with her from now on because:
a.) I'm at work and should probably not be openly hostile to the customers
b.) It would take too long to have this conversation, I mean, I gots shits to do and
c.) Conversing would make no noticeable difference, in the end.

As I have previously mentioned, I'm not fond of this lady. Also, I don't like religion. I especially don't like it when other people try to push their religion on me. Hate is a strong word...but is it the wrong word? I mean, seriously, I feel bad that trees were murdered only to have their remains used for such an idiotic publication as The Watchtower. Which, incidentally, talks to it's followers like even it knows they are morons.

Had I given her a response, it would be more philosophical than religious. Because, no, I've never had time to wonder where the Devil came from, I was raised in a church. I was taught, like most Christians probably are, that the Devil (or Satan) was an angel named Lucifer who thought God was stupid for loving humans more than angels. So he rebelled, was cast from Heaven, and became the ruler of Hell, and basically the root of all evil. Origin story, BAM!

Currently, I have no religious inclination nor any use for religion. The Devil, to me, is merely an interesting and somewhat bewildering notion. Like, I can see how people, faced with an endless supply of things that want to eat them might come to feel that "sun is good, dark-time is bad". I can see how maybe they'd come to blame bad weather and a lack of food on an "evil" entity working against them. I can see how the evolution of religion could make sense in that way. And that's kind of interesting. But I fail to see how any Christian with any individual thought can still imagine the Devil as a literal being instead of an abstract concept. Or whatever.

or whatever.

If anything, God is the Devil. In a, ya know, dualistic sense. God totally suffers from a dissociative identity disorder. Except that he has to know that he's also the devil because he contradicts his own benevolent will something like 80million times. So he's probably more like a toddler blaming the spilled cheerios on the dog. I mean, he's omnipotent. If he was going to get all huffy about Lucifer trolling and etc, why wouldn't he just say "Well, fuck that shit" and just not make Lucifer? Or evil? Or humans? Or anything? Unless floods are just the way he bitches.

Don't bother with the Bible, just watch Tara. There's 3 seasons and  less murder.

Anyway, to summarize, the Devil to me is just some bullshit people made up to blame shit on. Instead of facing the fact that maybe shit just happens and it's not necessarily about anyone or anything. I think because the thought of there being nothing giving two shits about them is a scarier concept than the Devil. How fucked up.