These are a few from PostSecret that I currently love. Apparently there will be a PostSecret event at NIACC on April 23rd. Not sure I'll go, but if you're in the area and have never been, you should, it's pretty fun.
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Lazerfest Mix 2014
This might be a little early, but I'm super excited for Lazerfest. Not only because I had a boozy blast last year, but also because Queens of the Stone Age and The Offspring are headlining this year! Last year was great, but this year I actually give a fuck about the bands that are playing.
1. 3's & 7's - Queens of the Stone Age (though they'll probably play the new album, which I've previously mentioned) (wish Josh Homme's wife would also be playing)
2. The Kids Aren't Alright - The Offspring (I have long loved The Offspring)
3. Hero - Skillet (I need a heeeero!)
4. The Bitch Came Back - Theory of a Deadman (I like to replace all the "she" and "her" in this song with "he" and "him" b/c I find guys dislike being called a bitch even more than girls. I do kind of like this band, even though they vaguely remind me of Hinder)
5. Imperium - Machine Head (This band's name seems so familiar, but I can't. I just can't. Think I'll go fetch some drinks while they play. Maybe get a tattoo?)
6. Sick - Adelita's Way (This also seems familiar...or maybe rock is just so homogenized now I don't even...ugh)
7. Make Me Wanna Die - The Pretty Reckless (that girl from Gossip Girl!)
8. Trenches - Pop Evil (yeah, more beer time) (Interestingly, they hail from a place I briefly lived, Grand Rapids, Michigan)
9. The Art of Breaking - Thousand Foot Krutch (so much beeeeeer)
10. Never Let Me Go - We Came As Romans (this reminds me of something 2006 would have wrought)
11. Heavy Bells - J. Roddy Walston and the Business (never done, but I like them, they actually kicks some ass!)
12. Bombshell - Powerman 5000 (I feel like they were hugely popular for some time, but this is the only song of theirs I know) (not that I want to know more) (I'm going to be so drunk)
13. Situations - Escape The Fate (I love this song. Sadly they have a diff lead singer now)
14. Winter - Chelsea Wolfe (sort of dark. I want to like her...not sure if I can. she just builds so slowly)
15. Split the Skies - Green Death (never heard of them, but they're from Iowa and they're pretty good in a death metal sort of way. color me surprised)
Just bought my tickets yesterday with my Kum & Go discount. Yay! the only tangible benefit to working there!
1. 3's & 7's - Queens of the Stone Age (though they'll probably play the new album, which I've previously mentioned) (wish Josh Homme's wife would also be playing)
2. The Kids Aren't Alright - The Offspring (I have long loved The Offspring)
3. Hero - Skillet (I need a heeeero!)
4. The Bitch Came Back - Theory of a Deadman (I like to replace all the "she" and "her" in this song with "he" and "him" b/c I find guys dislike being called a bitch even more than girls. I do kind of like this band, even though they vaguely remind me of Hinder)
5. Imperium - Machine Head (This band's name seems so familiar, but I can't. I just can't. Think I'll go fetch some drinks while they play. Maybe get a tattoo?)
6. Sick - Adelita's Way (This also seems familiar...or maybe rock is just so homogenized now I don't even...ugh)
7. Make Me Wanna Die - The Pretty Reckless (that girl from Gossip Girl!)
8. Trenches - Pop Evil (yeah, more beer time) (Interestingly, they hail from a place I briefly lived, Grand Rapids, Michigan)
9. The Art of Breaking - Thousand Foot Krutch (so much beeeeeer)
10. Never Let Me Go - We Came As Romans (this reminds me of something 2006 would have wrought)
11. Heavy Bells - J. Roddy Walston and the Business (never done, but I like them, they actually kicks some ass!)
12. Bombshell - Powerman 5000 (I feel like they were hugely popular for some time, but this is the only song of theirs I know) (not that I want to know more) (I'm going to be so drunk)
13. Situations - Escape The Fate (I love this song. Sadly they have a diff lead singer now)
14. Winter - Chelsea Wolfe (sort of dark. I want to like her...not sure if I can. she just builds so slowly)
15. Split the Skies - Green Death (never heard of them, but they're from Iowa and they're pretty good in a death metal sort of way. color me surprised)
Just bought my tickets yesterday with my Kum & Go discount. Yay! the only tangible benefit to working there!
Friday, February 28, 2014
February Sucks
I've had a fucked up month. Actually it started right after I made that post about dominating January. Which effectively cured me of any small amount of optimism I might have acquired. So, yeah, around a week after that post I got a horrendous stomach flu. Then (it feels like) everyone quit (at work). So we have technically only 3 new people, but actually we have 4 because the other one rarely works and doesn't seem to recall what it is he's supposed to do when he's there. That is called "benefit of the doubt" because he probably just doesn't give a fuck. I mean, hey, I wouldn't either if I were you, Guy, but I hate you anyway.
And everyone else was new and terrible at things for a while. And then the books were terrible. And there's the part where I'm Jodi's bitch and am supposed to tell everyone when they're terrible. Which I actually don't mind that much because...I'm a bitch. But it does get repetitive and tiring. The main 2-11 person we hired is now pregnant (maybe with twins) and getting sick and going home more often than she works. And I'm just constantly coming in to a fresher hell than the last.
On a more personal note, Mediacom is charging me $70 a month for internet now and I really need to switch providers, but I've never done that before and the unknown is daunting to me. Also, I need a new cellphone because mine is glitching like a motherfucker but what phone to buy??? And then there's the car issue, which is still basically strutless and stupid and now refuses to start, but I'm having an even harder time finding a replacement car because I live in Iowa and all the damn used cars have crazy fucking miles on them. And I know nothing about cars. The other thing is I still don't have healthcare because I'm in sticker shock over what it costs and I don't know what any of the terms mean. So basically I'm just tired of shopping for boring shit that isn't shoes, and trying to make smart decisions. I'm not a decision maker. Apparently I'm also just not very good at being an adult.
I just want to read books, watch Netflix and paint some pictures. Why does life want to keep me away from these things?
So today, I've just been fucking off reading Cracked, and obsessing over female boxing. Because when I get stressed out, I shut down and give no fucks. Let Future Hannah deal with this shit. Sure sucks to be her.
And everyone else was new and terrible at things for a while. And then the books were terrible. And there's the part where I'm Jodi's bitch and am supposed to tell everyone when they're terrible. Which I actually don't mind that much because...I'm a bitch. But it does get repetitive and tiring. The main 2-11 person we hired is now pregnant (maybe with twins) and getting sick and going home more often than she works. And I'm just constantly coming in to a fresher hell than the last.
On a more personal note, Mediacom is charging me $70 a month for internet now and I really need to switch providers, but I've never done that before and the unknown is daunting to me. Also, I need a new cellphone because mine is glitching like a motherfucker but what phone to buy??? And then there's the car issue, which is still basically strutless and stupid and now refuses to start, but I'm having an even harder time finding a replacement car because I live in Iowa and all the damn used cars have crazy fucking miles on them. And I know nothing about cars. The other thing is I still don't have healthcare because I'm in sticker shock over what it costs and I don't know what any of the terms mean. So basically I'm just tired of shopping for boring shit that isn't shoes, and trying to make smart decisions. I'm not a decision maker. Apparently I'm also just not very good at being an adult.
I just want to read books, watch Netflix and paint some pictures. Why does life want to keep me away from these things?
So today, I've just been fucking off reading Cracked, and obsessing over female boxing. Because when I get stressed out, I shut down and give no fucks. Let Future Hannah deal with this shit. Sure sucks to be her.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Another Comment
I'm beginning to think the problem is not with other people (I almost typed "poople" which might be more accurate) (hahaha...poop) but may be with me. Maybe I'm just stuck in some bygone era where I don't feel like complete strangers need to have my opinions and judgments inflicted upon them. Because nobody else seems to feel this way.
I mean, this is my blog, come here or don't, I don't care. It's entirely your choice. I didn't spam you with my blog. You clicked on this shit to read it. Similarly, Pinterest is a place where I post things. Re-pin or no, I give no shits. Many of these things are just pictures/memes I find funny. I categorize them under "Funny Shit". Inherently, this should connote humor...specifically mine. Please don't inflict your lack of shared humor with me. Because why the hell would you? Why the hell would anyone? Just move on.
I pinned this:
I found this humorous for three reasons:
1. Arnold Schwarzenegger - I love that shit.
2. Bones do not jiggle.
3. This woman is obviously fat and not just big boned. Cruel or no, this is obviously true.
The description under the pin was "Your excuse is not valid." I did not write that there, I just neglected to erase it when I re-pinned. This is a common occurrence among Pinners. I don't assume anyone writes their own descriptions. But they sure as hell do write their comments. That shit takes, like, time.
So Becky comments: Must be nice to be perfect.
Yes, Becky, it is nice to be perfect. Because obviously I'd have to be perfect to find humor in this situation. Or did you mean perfect as in "has a sense of humor" or "is not super offended by obvious truths" ? People have called me many things, but perfect is not one of them. I readily admit that. I have jiggly bits of my own. But you know what I don't do? I don't call myself big boned. I have tiny bones covered in muscle and fat. And some other stuff. This is basic anatomy shit right here. Bones do not jiggle...so what exactly is jiggling if not fat? Is that FUPA actually a MUPA? If so, I apologize, but she should change her argument to "I'm not fat, I'm big muscled."
In summary, I don't know why I'm explaining humor to the internet. I suppose I just like ranting into the void. Also, Becky is totally fat.
I mean, this is my blog, come here or don't, I don't care. It's entirely your choice. I didn't spam you with my blog. You clicked on this shit to read it. Similarly, Pinterest is a place where I post things. Re-pin or no, I give no shits. Many of these things are just pictures/memes I find funny. I categorize them under "Funny Shit". Inherently, this should connote humor...specifically mine. Please don't inflict your lack of shared humor with me. Because why the hell would you? Why the hell would anyone? Just move on.
I pinned this:
I found this humorous for three reasons:
1. Arnold Schwarzenegger - I love that shit.
2. Bones do not jiggle.
3. This woman is obviously fat and not just big boned. Cruel or no, this is obviously true.
The description under the pin was "Your excuse is not valid." I did not write that there, I just neglected to erase it when I re-pinned. This is a common occurrence among Pinners. I don't assume anyone writes their own descriptions. But they sure as hell do write their comments. That shit takes, like, time.
So Becky comments: Must be nice to be perfect.
Yes, Becky, it is nice to be perfect. Because obviously I'd have to be perfect to find humor in this situation. Or did you mean perfect as in "has a sense of humor" or "is not super offended by obvious truths" ? People have called me many things, but perfect is not one of them. I readily admit that. I have jiggly bits of my own. But you know what I don't do? I don't call myself big boned. I have tiny bones covered in muscle and fat. And some other stuff. This is basic anatomy shit right here. Bones do not jiggle...so what exactly is jiggling if not fat? Is that FUPA actually a MUPA? If so, I apologize, but she should change her argument to "I'm not fat, I'm big muscled."
In summary, I don't know why I'm explaining humor to the internet. I suppose I just like ranting into the void. Also, Becky is totally fat.
Friday, January 17, 2014
January Is My Bitch!
Okay, so a lot has happened this month...sort of.
First off, I am now a Sales Manager, which isn't especially exciting, but there is a pay raise. Also I'm Jodi's bitch. Which, honestly, isn't much different than it's ever been. I don't understand why Amie (the previous SM) was so stressed out all the time. Possibly she just has poor stress management skills. Possibly she just can't chillax about anything. Fuck her, I'm awesome.
Secondly (I have no friends), I almost feel like a complete/law-abiding adult because I now have car insurance and am in the process of getting health insurance. I might even go for a tri-fecta here and file my taxes on time!
Additionally, I got rid of my table that I never used which was taking up too much space. My hair is now pretty short and I like it. I got Sammi hooked on Sherlock/in love with Benedict Cumberbatch. And I watched season 3 of Sherlock. These are accomplishments to me, don't judge (or do so silently, if you must).
And Cathy's wedding was actually pretty fun if you ignore all the boring bits. I mean, free food!
The only downers are:
1. Floyd needs new struts and I don't know where that money is coming from because
2. I'm supposed to be saving for a new car and
3. Bills.
4. Still have no bird because of the previously mentioned money concerns.
Still, all in all, a decent month so far. Tonight I get to spend some quality time with my Sammi and my Netflix (The most important people in my life). Right now I'm going to start a potentially awesome book, The Gate Thief by Orson Scott Card, sequel to The Lost Gate, which I just re-read yesterday. This is already more reading than I've done the past two years. Hopefully I can regain my voracious reading habits again, while also not letting my Netflix feel too neglected...in the end it's all just time-management, though, right?
How are people ever bored?
First off, I am now a Sales Manager, which isn't especially exciting, but there is a pay raise. Also I'm Jodi's bitch. Which, honestly, isn't much different than it's ever been. I don't understand why Amie (the previous SM) was so stressed out all the time. Possibly she just has poor stress management skills. Possibly she just can't chillax about anything. Fuck her, I'm awesome.
| This is me, 2nd in Command! (I've been waiting far too long to make that joke) |
Additionally, I got rid of my table that I never used which was taking up too much space. My hair is now pretty short and I like it. I got Sammi hooked on Sherlock/in love with Benedict Cumberbatch. And I watched season 3 of Sherlock. These are accomplishments to me, don't judge (or do so silently, if you must).
And Cathy's wedding was actually pretty fun if you ignore all the boring bits. I mean, free food!
The only downers are:
1. Floyd needs new struts and I don't know where that money is coming from because
2. I'm supposed to be saving for a new car and
3. Bills.
4. Still have no bird because of the previously mentioned money concerns.
Still, all in all, a decent month so far. Tonight I get to spend some quality time with my Sammi and my Netflix (The most important people in my life). Right now I'm going to start a potentially awesome book, The Gate Thief by Orson Scott Card, sequel to The Lost Gate, which I just re-read yesterday. This is already more reading than I've done the past two years. Hopefully I can regain my voracious reading habits again, while also not letting my Netflix feel too neglected...in the end it's all just time-management, though, right?
How are people ever bored?
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Another New Year
I think I am officially failing this 30 day challenge thinger...but I've decided not to care. Much like my new New Years resolution. Just kidding. But really. Last year I was apparently in a much different state of mind. Perhaps in the mostly-not-hungover state of mind that did not follow me to my present still-a-bit-hung-over state. Okay, so I just drank half a bottle of wine and I'm a little tired, which is different than hungover.
Anyway, I don't think I've accomplished anything from last year's to do list, as is my way, so I don't see much point in making a new one. It was a pretty terrible/normal year. This year I think I'll just try to become a better hermit. Maybe read some good books. Smoke less? I don't know, I'm really bad at self-improvement and it's very cold right now. I just want to sleep forever and never work or do anything at all. Can that be my resolution?
Bleh. The wine was a very bad idea.
Anyway, I don't think I've accomplished anything from last year's to do list, as is my way, so I don't see much point in making a new one. It was a pretty terrible/normal year. This year I think I'll just try to become a better hermit. Maybe read some good books. Smoke less? I don't know, I'm really bad at self-improvement and it's very cold right now. I just want to sleep forever and never work or do anything at all. Can that be my resolution?
Bleh. The wine was a very bad idea.
Friday, December 20, 2013
Comments on Comments
(Comments comments COMments comMENTS. Does comments even look like a word to you anymore?)
This is sort of a dirty little secret of mine, but a thing I like to do when I'm feeling bored or masochistic is to look at the comment section of random sites (twitter, facebook, cracked, youtube, etc..). For example, today after reading this excellent article by my future 3rd husband, Felix Clay, I decided to peruse what others thought of his hilarity. Because I am exceptionally bored today. On purpose.
A thing I've noticed about comments is a thing I end up noticing about people: they basically come in 6 different varieties. There is always (1) that person who genuinely wants to help/is perplexed by your humor. There is always someone (2) who is staunchly against whatever you say/deliberately takes everything you say out of context/does not understand context. Someone who (3) wants to suck your metaphorical (or actual) dick. Someone who (5) gives out way too much unnecessary information because they are lonely extroverts who just want to connect/people who think they are so awesome, everyone wants to know this trivial shit about them. And (6) the asshole 12 year old, aka. Troll. Sometimes, just maybe, you get the hilarious/useful comment that alludes to a person you might actually want to communicate with in the real world. You won't, but that fleeting desire is there. So I guess maybe 7 varieties. Shut up.
Anyway, I was sort of irritated by cherokeebride's comment of "Just because someone can't read your mind, doesn't mean they're thoughtless."
I guess you might need context as to why I find it annoying, but just go on this...the article was titled The 7 Worst Gifts People Seem To Give Every Christmas. This is posted on Cracked.com, a comedy site most notoriously known for lists and dick-jokes. This article is obviously going to include some over the top/mildly offensive humor. And the whole list is generically hateable enough to include everyone in the fun. So, if I were a person that commented on comment forums instead of a person who is so pathologically obsessed with her own opinions that she has a whole blog to post her comments to instead, I would respond to her that...oh shit, I just lost my train of thought.
Oh yeah, I would respond to her that there is this thing called humor that she has proven not everyone has in great supply. As in, some might have a small supply of it, and/or it might be defective in some way, possibly molding. Except that I would never rationally respond to this type of comment because it would be the most self-defeating thing I've done since that time the other day when I tried to argue Batman vs. Superman with a grown man who has a Superman tattoo. Which of course Cracked has already covered for me. I would instead troll the shit out of her. Because while I abjectly hate trolling, it is sometimes the only appropriate response.
So I guess to wrap up this long ramble about comments, I would like to say thanks to all of my imaginary readers for not commenting. I would probably just think you are insufferable anyway.
This is sort of a dirty little secret of mine, but a thing I like to do when I'm feeling bored or masochistic is to look at the comment section of random sites (twitter, facebook, cracked, youtube, etc..). For example, today after reading this excellent article by my future 3rd husband, Felix Clay, I decided to peruse what others thought of his hilarity. Because I am exceptionally bored today. On purpose.
A thing I've noticed about comments is a thing I end up noticing about people: they basically come in 6 different varieties. There is always (1) that person who genuinely wants to help/is perplexed by your humor. There is always someone (2) who is staunchly against whatever you say/deliberately takes everything you say out of context/does not understand context. Someone who (3) wants to suck your metaphorical (or actual) dick. Someone who (5) gives out way too much unnecessary information because they are lonely extroverts who just want to connect/people who think they are so awesome, everyone wants to know this trivial shit about them. And (6) the asshole 12 year old, aka. Troll. Sometimes, just maybe, you get the hilarious/useful comment that alludes to a person you might actually want to communicate with in the real world. You won't, but that fleeting desire is there. So I guess maybe 7 varieties. Shut up.
Anyway, I was sort of irritated by cherokeebride's comment of "Just because someone can't read your mind, doesn't mean they're thoughtless."
I guess you might need context as to why I find it annoying, but just go on this...the article was titled The 7 Worst Gifts People Seem To Give Every Christmas. This is posted on Cracked.com, a comedy site most notoriously known for lists and dick-jokes. This article is obviously going to include some over the top/mildly offensive humor. And the whole list is generically hateable enough to include everyone in the fun. So, if I were a person that commented on comment forums instead of a person who is so pathologically obsessed with her own opinions that she has a whole blog to post her comments to instead, I would respond to her that...oh shit, I just lost my train of thought.
Oh yeah, I would respond to her that there is this thing called humor that she has proven not everyone has in great supply. As in, some might have a small supply of it, and/or it might be defective in some way, possibly molding. Except that I would never rationally respond to this type of comment because it would be the most self-defeating thing I've done since that time the other day when I tried to argue Batman vs. Superman with a grown man who has a Superman tattoo. Which of course Cracked has already covered for me. I would instead troll the shit out of her. Because while I abjectly hate trolling, it is sometimes the only appropriate response.
 |
| -swift and Mediorite, however, are awesome. |
So I guess to wrap up this long ramble about comments, I would like to say thanks to all of my imaginary readers for not commenting. I would probably just think you are insufferable anyway.
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