My experiment with being blonde yielded some interesting results. There were a lot of things being brunette didn't quite prepare me for in the life of blondness. Here are a few notes from my journey as a bleach blonde. I wrote this some time ago when I was still mostly blonde, and don't feel like changing the tenses because I'm a lazy fuck, so enjoy as is!
1. Being of mixed heritage, I normally get questioned "What are you" quite frequently. With blonde hair, I have not been asked that once. Whether I just don't look as ethnic, or whatever, I just don't know. I do know that no random strangers have asked me what I am since dying my hair this light of a hue.
2. People assume blondes are dumb. This is a thing that should be pretty obvious, given all the dumb blonde jokes floating around out there, but really think about it for a minute. Have you thought about it? Don't lie to me, you didn't think about shit, did you? Shut up. Anyway, my point is that I find myself doing the same thing all the time. Not necessarily on purpose, I see a blonde girl and almost automatically think she must be dumb. I use smaller words and over-explain. Well played fate, because this naturally brunette girl has been on the other end of the judgement stick. I find myself constantly having to prove (to strangers) that I am not an idiot, which as a brunette was never a problem. I looked like a nerd, so I must have been smart. Now I apparently look like a dumb blonde.
3. Guys think I am a slut. Okay, I guess this only counts when I'm dressed somewhat nicely, but still. I have been hit on and asked out more as a blonde than as any other hair color. This may or may not be because they think I am a dumb slut. Of course it could just be because I look like less of an introverted bitch. Trick's on you Men at Bars! I'm still an introverted bitch, with all the problems that develop from being an insecure brunette!
4. Blondes get away with more things. For whatever reason(see 2 and 3) people are more inclined to be tolerant of me. People are chattier. Also it appears to have classed me up a bit. Old people seem to not notice my piercings and tattoos as much, which is weird. The brightness of my hair must blind them.
5. Smart girls are wary of blondes. Slutty girls flock to me now. I am a golden lion's mane of fake slutty roar. Drunk bitches also love me now. Okay, drunk bitches have always loved me. Whatever.
6. I think maybe the hair has made me more confident. I feel prettier. I walk more boldly. I preen a little bit. I wear too much bronzer. My old man wardrobe doesn't feel right, the colors clash or something. So I wear semi-mainstream styles. Black (always awesome) looks even better with blonde hair.
7. It's harder to go unnoticed. I think the biggest advantage a short brunette has is the natural sneakiness. I blend with the shadows. I am a ninja. But everyone notices when a blonde enters the room. My hair sucks in all the surrounding light and uses it to glow even brighter. Sometimes I miss being a shadow.
To summarize, it's been fun, but my hair grows like a motherfucker and it's tiring bleaching my hair that much. Think I'll lay off it for a while. Maybe at some point in the future I'll bore everyone to tears with more posts about my hair and the rad colors I dyed it after the blonde. We shall see.
1. Being of mixed heritage, I normally get questioned "What are you" quite frequently. With blonde hair, I have not been asked that once. Whether I just don't look as ethnic, or whatever, I just don't know. I do know that no random strangers have asked me what I am since dying my hair this light of a hue.
2. People assume blondes are dumb. This is a thing that should be pretty obvious, given all the dumb blonde jokes floating around out there, but really think about it for a minute. Have you thought about it? Don't lie to me, you didn't think about shit, did you? Shut up. Anyway, my point is that I find myself doing the same thing all the time. Not necessarily on purpose, I see a blonde girl and almost automatically think she must be dumb. I use smaller words and over-explain. Well played fate, because this naturally brunette girl has been on the other end of the judgement stick. I find myself constantly having to prove (to strangers) that I am not an idiot, which as a brunette was never a problem. I looked like a nerd, so I must have been smart. Now I apparently look like a dumb blonde.
3. Guys think I am a slut. Okay, I guess this only counts when I'm dressed somewhat nicely, but still. I have been hit on and asked out more as a blonde than as any other hair color. This may or may not be because they think I am a dumb slut. Of course it could just be because I look like less of an introverted bitch. Trick's on you Men at Bars! I'm still an introverted bitch, with all the problems that develop from being an insecure brunette!4. Blondes get away with more things. For whatever reason(see 2 and 3) people are more inclined to be tolerant of me. People are chattier. Also it appears to have classed me up a bit. Old people seem to not notice my piercings and tattoos as much, which is weird. The brightness of my hair must blind them.
5. Smart girls are wary of blondes. Slutty girls flock to me now. I am a golden lion's mane of fake slutty roar. Drunk bitches also love me now. Okay, drunk bitches have always loved me. Whatever.6. I think maybe the hair has made me more confident. I feel prettier. I walk more boldly. I preen a little bit. I wear too much bronzer. My old man wardrobe doesn't feel right, the colors clash or something. So I wear semi-mainstream styles. Black (always awesome) looks even better with blonde hair.
7. It's harder to go unnoticed. I think the biggest advantage a short brunette has is the natural sneakiness. I blend with the shadows. I am a ninja. But everyone notices when a blonde enters the room. My hair sucks in all the surrounding light and uses it to glow even brighter. Sometimes I miss being a shadow.
To summarize, it's been fun, but my hair grows like a motherfucker and it's tiring bleaching my hair that much. Think I'll lay off it for a while. Maybe at some point in the future I'll bore everyone to tears with more posts about my hair and the rad colors I dyed it after the blonde. We shall see.
