Another Comment

I'm beginning to think the problem is not with other people (I almost typed "poople" which might be more accurate) (hahaha...poop) but may be with me. Maybe I'm just stuck in some bygone era where I don't feel like complete strangers need to have my opinions and judgments inflicted upon them. Because nobody else seems to feel this way.

I mean, this is my blog, come here or don't, I don't care. It's entirely your choice. I didn't spam you with my blog. You clicked on this shit to read it. Similarly, Pinterest is a place where I post things. Re-pin or no, I give no shits.  Many of these things are just pictures/memes I find funny. I categorize them under "Funny Shit". Inherently, this should connote humor...specifically mine. Please don't inflict your lack of shared humor with me. Because why the hell would you? Why the hell would anyone? Just move on.

I pinned this:

I found this humorous for three reasons:
1. Arnold Schwarzenegger - I love that shit.
2. Bones do not jiggle.
3. This woman is obviously fat and not just big boned. Cruel or no, this is obviously true.

The description under the pin was "Your excuse is not valid." I did not write that there, I just neglected to erase it when I re-pinned. This is a common occurrence among Pinners. I don't assume anyone writes their own descriptions. But they sure as hell do write their comments. That shit takes, like, time.

So Becky comments: Must be nice to be perfect.

Yes, Becky, it is nice to be perfect. Because obviously I'd have to be perfect to find humor in this situation. Or did you mean perfect as in "has a sense of humor"  or "is not super offended by obvious truths" ? People have called me many things, but perfect is not one of them. I readily admit that. I have jiggly bits of my own. But you know what I don't do? I don't call myself big boned. I have tiny bones covered in muscle and fat. And some other stuff. This is basic anatomy shit right here. Bones do not jiggle...so what exactly is jiggling if not fat? Is that FUPA actually a MUPA? If so, I apologize, but she should change her argument to "I'm not fat, I'm big muscled."

In summary, I don't know why I'm explaining humor to the internet. I suppose I just like ranting into the void. Also, Becky is totally fat.

January Is My Bitch!

Okay, so a lot has happened this month...sort of.

First off, I am now a Sales Manager, which isn't especially exciting, but there is a pay raise. Also I'm Jodi's bitch. Which, honestly, isn't much different than it's ever been. I don't understand why Amie (the previous SM) was so stressed out all the time. Possibly she just has poor stress management skills. Possibly she just can't chillax about anything. Fuck her, I'm awesome.

This is me, 2nd in Command!
(I've been waiting far too long to make that joke)

Secondly (I have no friends), I almost feel like a complete/law-abiding adult because I now have car insurance and am in the process of getting health insurance. I might even go for a tri-fecta here and file my taxes on time!

Additionally, I got rid of my table that I never used which was taking up too much space. My hair is now pretty short and I like it. I got Sammi hooked on Sherlock/in love with Benedict Cumberbatch. And I watched season 3 of Sherlock. These are accomplishments to me, don't judge (or do so silently, if you must).

And Cathy's wedding was actually pretty fun if you ignore all the boring bits. I mean, free food!

The only downers are:
1. Floyd needs new struts and I don't know where that money is coming from because
2. I'm supposed to be saving for a new car and
3. Bills.
4. Still have no bird because of the previously mentioned money concerns.

Still, all in all, a decent month so far. Tonight I get to spend some quality time with my Sammi and my Netflix (The most important people in my life). Right now I'm going to start a potentially awesome book, The Gate Thief by Orson Scott Card, sequel to The Lost Gate, which I just re-read yesterday. This is already more reading than I've done the past two years. Hopefully I can regain my voracious reading habits again, while also not letting my Netflix feel too neglected...in the end it's all just time-management, though, right?

How are people ever bored?

Another New Year

I think I am officially failing this 30 day challenge thinger...but I've decided not to care. Much like my new New Years resolution. Just kidding. But really. Last year I was apparently in a much different state of mind. Perhaps in the mostly-not-hungover state of mind that did not follow me to my present still-a-bit-hung-over state. Okay, so I just drank half a bottle of wine and I'm a little tired, which is different than hungover.

Anyway, I don't think I've accomplished anything from last year's to do list, as is my way, so I don't see much point in making a new one. It was a pretty terrible/normal year. This year I think I'll just try to become a better hermit. Maybe read some good books. Smoke less? I don't know, I'm really bad at self-improvement and it's very cold right now. I just want to sleep forever and never work or do anything at all. Can that be my resolution?

Bleh. The wine was a very bad idea.